This episode is an entire recording of the livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions. My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. 4. Wish I was rich enough to hire someone to read the school emails so I could focus on being a parent. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 3. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Took our 3 kids to a space museum today. When you have a baby, it's all about the baby and not about you. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Feb 4, 2022, 12:47 PM EST. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through.. I always wished I had dimplesMy kid: but you do have dimples! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 16 Hilarious Tweets About the Funny, Quirky Things Kids Do, Top 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents This Week, 21 Funny Tweets to Bring Some Laughs to Your Day, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Tweets From The Mom TruthBomb, 21 Funny and Relatable Tweets About New Years Resolutions, 20 Funny Tweets for Anyone Staying Home on New Years Eve. Just over 2 hours of updates around the community, the software, and the vision of Matt Mullenweg. Sign up to follow me here! Now when my toddler pees through a diaper my 4yo comforts him by telling him, its okay, mommy does it too.. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . Is this what good parenting feels like?? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Nothing says This parenting gig is easy! like using my sons last juice box as a mixer. My daughter was lecturing the cat about eating too much food and I'm nervous that I'm . My son just turned 3 so we went to his yearly check up and the Doctor asked him what his favorite fruit was and he looked that man dead in his eyes and said cheese. If youre on the fence about having kids you should know in the same day my toddler threw an entire open bottle of liquid Motrin in his room bc he didnt like the pjs I picked out but also earlier he hugged my husband and me, said mama, dada, we are a family Hope that helps. My kids had money to spend at the store. Believe it or not, we're at the end of 2022. Parenting funny tweets tweets of the week best parenting tweets. 10 hours later i remembered I'm 38. before becoming a parent i didn't know i could ruin someone's life by providing them with food, water, juice, clothes, entertainment and shelter for free. As 2022 is coming to a close, we . Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 8, 2022. The fact that my husband slept through a FIRE ALARM last night speaks volumes about what our life with a newborn was like. , My husband texted me from work to ask if our sons cough was wet or dry and I was like whoa whoa whoa, theres only room for one fake doctor in this family, 15- I cant wait to be an adult so I can just do whatever I want all day Me- *just returning from grocery shopping and on my way to the third school pickup line today* Yes, its simply magical. Do you take Discover? The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 3, 2022) 11/3/2022 Like 1 Comment | 11 Being a parent during the days following Halloween is an insane exercise in self-control. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I told her no. You can just strap the baby in and GO hiking! My 4-year-old says the wrong name for many things. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. And can I visit for a week or two? Myths and Magic week will run from July 17th-21st 2023. My 6yo just told me he's 1000 years old and not really human. My 5yo son: mommy, Im Ashley. I must be some type of ninja. [Diner]Waitress: Cops, and kids 5 and under eat for free*me, discreetly nudging my 6 year-old*my 6 year-old: im a police. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. every time we pass another car on the road. '". Published Jan 13, 2023. Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. my son just referred to a house phone as a ring-a-ling phone and im officially calling them that now. my lip balm twisted all the way with no cap, rocks. "but who wiped God's butt? My daughter Chewbacca, not so much. 80% of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they don't hear anything you say. I'm so proud. Thank you. So I guess were business associates now. pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW, Why is there always toilet paper on the bathroom floor, and other mysteries of the parenting world, My 4 year old didnt immediately run to the front window to watch the garbage truck go by today so if youll excuse me Ill be sobbing into his baby onesies. Image via @softbalIs on Twitter. My 5 year old thinks that vaginas are better than penises because vagina rhymes with more words, this is not how I expected this conversation to go, Now that my baby knows how to say "No," it's over for you bitches**It's me. Welcome back! Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. At the same time, there is something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend with your kids. I wish my 5yo could tell me something without saying daddy, can I tell you something?. This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Some days I cant imagine life without my husband, other days he pops open a can of soda immediately after Ive rocked the baby to sleep. The WP Minute - WordPress news. Being a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what the fuck are you talking about? "Told a guy I had body dysmorphia and he said, 'I love sci-fi.'". 107d ago today / Parents Here are the 24 funniest parents on. I ask her if we beefin and she looks me in the eye and tells me she thinks that she's getting a little . To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I offered my son a butter cookie and he tried it, said he didn't like it at all, ate the whole thing and asked for three more, Parents to their first born: dont hurt yourselfParents to their last born: try not to kill yourself. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. What does that mean?Me: [mumbling] They plan on screwing up my Friday, that's what. Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. Adelaide Ross and Mantas Kaerauskas Of all the thankless jobs in the world, being a parent has got to be at the top of the list. Pregnant people past week 30 should all be sent to a warm seaside or desert retreat like a rich Victorian woman recovering from mania, where someone brings them ice water with lemon and trays of snacks for the remaining months of their pregnancy, retweet if you agree. The potato masher was stopping me from opening the drawer. By Georgia Nicols Wednesday . I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids can act. Have you ever been shopping without your kid and someone's child in the store starts whining to their mother and you breathe a sigh of relief because that could have been you? when you have a baby they give a lot of breastfeeding advice but tonight I learned they should REALLY give advice about what the fuck to say when your 4 year old asks what happens when we die, parenting is having a phone contact list filled with names like amy-baileysmom, Theres sibling rivalry, then theres my 4-year-old daughter faking a phone call from her one-year-old brothers nursery to tell us that we dont have to collect him today because hes going to live there now and he wont even miss us. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Yep,. Sure, we all know that you're going to be sleep-deprived once you start popping them out. Friends and guests of Finding Favorites are back to tell us about their favorite things from 2022. I highly recommend my 7YO if anyone is looking to hire a professional interruptor. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. A. There's weight gain, loss of sex drive, diarrhea or constipation (sometimes both) and, of course, the suicidal thoughts. You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep. Part of HuffPost Parenting. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My parenting style right now is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, gentle parenting, IM CANCELLING CHRISTMAS!! Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 22, 2022) It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Why should you date older single moms? The new year was a new flood of email. My 7yo asked Tessas parents if they drive dead people around. From the moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on duty. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Had I upset her? Why won't you let me live my life" years old. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. School emails be like:Welcome to X Elementary! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I'm teaching my kids to read because it's quality time spent together. Same. Follow me for more parenting tips. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Here they are: 1. Start finger painting. Caroline Bologna. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Good news: It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song. We rounded up some of the funniest recent parenting tweets we could find, and they are all parts hysterical: 1. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) | HuffPost Life The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice" By Caroline Bologna Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Me: Its such a great feeling to be so loved by my family. I took a picture of a kid's chest x-ray to show the family (he had pneumonia). Here in New York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go on the long and exhausting journey of procreation. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) cheezburger.com 1d A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby." Whenever. ", You know youre getting old when your kids start referring to every old person they know as about your age. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Mrs . The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 21, 2022) Time flies when you're having "fun." That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. Kelsey Borresen 12/28/2022. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm. My 7 yo just asked ME when was his birthdate. Well, for now. My child who jokes nonstop about the planet Uranus has recently learned about the country of Djibouti." By. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) - Memebase - Funny Memes The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) One of the most prominent stereotypes about parents is that once someone has kids, something shifts in their brain that makes them feel like the most esoteric bearer of ancient, once unknown knowledge. My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older. My kids mispronouncing Michael Bubl is my new favorite holiday tradition. Thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Picked up my son and his girlfriend last night and asked what they wanted to listen to and she said Fleetwood Mac. An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) January 9, 2023. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 7-13) "Thoughts and prayers. Part of HuffPost Parenting. A rock where there are no children? She asked if it's a name for goats. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton.". To be a parent or to not be a parent. Tweet. Packing your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip for the day. 7YO: daddy if you could be any kitchen utensil what would you be?ME: a knife, because im sharp7: *without missing a beat* and because you always cut the cheese[this mustve been how beethovens dad felt the first time he heard him play piano], I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair. My 2yo made it through a 2 hour drive, a 2 hour wait at the airport where he read a book quietly to himself, an hour flight where he happily watched Finding Nemo on silent, a bus ride where he laughed the whole time, and then screamed the entire 15 min drive home in our own car. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. She already knows way too much about the apocalypse. Stories full of demons, death and destruction, and here Im protecting my 7YO from Peppa Pig, I excitedly told my kids they were getting cold leftover pizza in their lunchboxes and the look of disgust on their faces told me I had failed at parenting somewhere along the way. I told her it's a name. ". Sit still you animals ! My wife yells at the kids just before she posts the photo she took of them on Facebook captioned My World. You haven't seen Encanto? I googled juvenile psychopathy, my husband interrogated our kid. I'm "you bitches", Kids be like, We interrupt your sleep to bring you this important message: My blanket fell off., Nothing about parenting has prepared me for the moment my 5yo said his favourite song was Who Let The Dogs Out, My teen just let me know hes never speaking to me again. [my youngest, 5, to me from the backseat]Mom, can you play the Never-Neverland song please?*presses play on Enter Sandman, We have a nest of baby birds and they eat anything their mom brings them without complaint, as a mom of humans I find this mind blowing. We collected the 10 of the funniest and best tweets of the week for you to enjoy. 50 Funniest Parenting Memes + Tweets This Week by Chris Illuminati April 8, 2022 Comments 0 Welcome to another installment of " parents about to lose their shit" better known as the funniest parenting memes & tweets of the week. Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice. 8: We only go. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. me: are you talking about a BOILED egg. So far Ive used 467 paper towels. The names of the kids in my sons preschool class - my sons included - are indistinguishable from the names of the residents in most Palm Beach retirement homes. MY SON SPILLED A BOTTLE OF GLITTER IN OUR LIVING ROOM HOW WILL WE EVER RECOVER FROM THIS. Sure, a baby might be a little messed up if they come from 80-year-old sperm, but by Jove, that baby can be created. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 4 says all these cars are in line for gas. It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. Janene. A KAZOO. "A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying 'I can do it myself' over and over". what ages does the sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop? !, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. Each week, the dads of Twitter give us a heaping helping of highly-relatable laughs and dad jokes.Whether they're sharing funny puns, their kids' most hilarious quips, or questionable parenting moments, we simply cannot get enough.Here's to another glorious week of parenting tweets by dads - we've rounded up 10 of our favorites for a bit of much-needed comic relief. My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some cock & balls. Helping in the kitchen this morning. Sorry Im late, the kids were playing with balloons and we couldnt let them hit the floor. What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: Get undressed. Jan 13, 2023, 03:53 PM EST. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. Part of HuffPost Parenting. I laughed so hard the other day I ended up having to change my pants. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. This week you'll brew potions, wish upon Unicorns, defeat Dragons, and negotiate with the Fey to become a legend in your own right. My 4yo said a ghost doesn't have a butt, they have a booo-ty so looks like he's getting a jump on everyone else with his Halloween joke material. I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. Parents m Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone. Follow me for more eye-opening parenting tips. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) 4 days ago Like Comments | 1 If you don't have a list on. Although it cost a lot, it was worth it to see their faces be amazed at the infinite wonders of the child play area at the back, A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying I can do it myself over and over. 10: I just read that you have fingertips but not toe tips yet you can tiptoe but not tip finger. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. 5 min read. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 15, 2022) To be a parent or to not be a parent. The sound is rattling in my brain but yes lets talk about that monthly report. Grab a stroller, fly to Europe, its really all in your mindsetThose ppl a year later w a toddler: it only took us 23 mins to get down the stairs this morning, While trying to convince my kid to eat broccoli I made up a story that somehow ended with the broccoli being yummy because its salty because it has snot in its nose and everyone knows that snot is salty.what Im saying is that parenting is not for the weak of stomach. Students arriving at 8:26 will be late. Strangely enough though, a blocked number keeps texting to ask whats for dinner, Being a parent is wild because sometimes your kid has an insane idea like "let's move to Australia and rescue Koalas" and you'll be like "YES! Find out what flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it. My 8yo in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil! No word, no hug, not even a wave. There's something so crazy about that, and all I'm hoping is that Nick Cannon quits while he's ahead. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Babies sometimes just happen to people, and that's that. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 12, 2022) It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. Ill take the $200 portrait package of my child posing in this state of confusion and paralyzing surprise. Emptying my pockets before laundry: some tissues, a receipt, huh, thought my lip balm was in there. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Because of this, it can be pretty challenging to. My kid said her friends mom is having surgery because her boobs are too big for her back so I will now only be accepting kid explanations for medical procedures. Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 9, 2022. My 2yo got a kazoo in his goodie bag from a friends birthday. Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I hope all parents reading this have had a great 2023 so far. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. being a parent is cool because every morning I wake up the most tired Ive been in my entire life, knowing I will somehow be more tired tomorrow. My kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of a fire extinguisher. Kids should come with a skip intro button for their stories, The funniest thing thats ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went Can you feed me? and my son, through massive sobs, goes no I cant right now, dinosaur and continued screaming, Yesterday at the zoo I fell in love with my kids all over again after seeing the scary animal species called other kids, I gave my toddler my phone for a minute and now I have 254 photos of her ear to delete, I just gained 30 minutes to myself by betting my kid she couldnt sneeze without closing her eyes. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. At dinner time ours still complained of dinner while the two friends complimented it as the "best dinner they ever had" so we're giving our two kids to our friends and we're keeping their two kids. My kids won't stop bugging me for an in-ground pool so tonight we're watching Poltergeist. Welcome to parenthood. I can't stop laughing. I sent my daughter a text and she responded with I will look into this. Funny tweets that. Edition Parenting funny tweets best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (March 26-April 1) "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?'" By Caroline Bologna Apr 1, 2022, 04:07 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I hope my friends dont find out I own a jacket.-Middle Schoolers. Wishing you all a good weekend! #17 Wouldn't that be nice? Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. I took the kids out for the day so my husband could relax and apparently my husbands interpretation of relaxing is relaxing and not doing 16 loads of laundry. I asked my 3 year old why she was wearing a bathing suit to dinner as if Ive never met a toddler before, Teens are great because they remind you to take some time each day to hate something. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 21, 2022. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. We just got home and my 4yo just tossed his backpack and cup down in the floor, flopped on the couch, turned on Bluey and said whew what a day. Same, little buddy. I wrote on my kid's school tardy excuse. Lets see how this plays out. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. BuzzFeed Staff . This is fine. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (January 5, 2023) Happy New Year, Parents! Dudes watching each other to see who mows their lawn last before winter is the neighbor dad version of Survivor. Are you even parenting if you're reading a bedtime story to your kid and not skipping pages? Lots of straight onesMe: pic.twitter.com/p919au4ztR, Making it rain but youre a parent: pic.twitter.com/mKPrrU3eCL, My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. *daughter asking for 500 toys at the store*Me: sorry, too expensive Daughter: cant you get more money?? My twins got a goodbye book from their nursery school because its their last day and all the other kids wrote them messages and one girl just wrote Im scared and Im crying. I showed the kid and he gasped. What I say: Stay out of trouble for 10 minutes while I shower.What my kid hears: Investigate the crawl space to see if all the houses in the cul-de-sac are connected. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. Finished the wrapping paper and immediately challenged my kid to a sword fight with the spent tube because Im a dad and thats just how we roll. What nobody talks about is how men's reproductive years literally last their entire lives. Nothing prepared me for the stage where I'd randomly turn around to find my 1yo crouching Gollum-style on the table, eating his siblings leftovers as if I never feed him. 8yo: daddy whats your best talent?me: hmm I dont know, maybe being a dad?8yo: no thats not it. My son would not stop talking on the way home last night. They will communicate with . It was a station wagon. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. You gotta start a new life someplace else. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) 12/8/2022 Like 2 Comments | 13 As far as I can remember,. My 5 year old squeezed my hand and said Daddy, I dont do busy and Ive never related to him more, Ive never met a better negotiator than a kid who doesnt want to go to sleep. People will tell you that childbirth is the most painful thing you can experience but after watching my toddler try to pick up peas with a fork I'm not so sure. "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older". Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I was just going to do that. Now Im waiting for him to start asking why there are so many lights on in this house, My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes werent for walking on the water but in it, Spent the day doing all the things around the house that my wife usually does and now I understand why she finds murder documentaries so therapeutic. My 7yo: Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot. My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. Sometimes my 6yo surprises me with her maturity and other times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot. my 9 and 7 yo each had a friend sleep over this weekend. Sorry but you're not as important as their AirPods. House phone as a ring-a-ling phone and Im officially calling them that now the. Service and funny parent tweets this week 2022 Policy parenting tips to eat what they serve and demand butter and... From a friends birthday today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & might. Another round of funny tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the joy my imaginary dogs spot points for to! ) August 9, 2023 potato masher was stopping me from the backseat ] Mom, looking at the.... White fairy dust ( baking soda ) `` I have a skeleton. `` she... The Never-Neverland song please from the moment their children are born, and! Round up the most hilarious quips from parents on 4yo comforts him by telling him, its,... Of 2022 play the Never-Neverland song please this one slide cause that 's what for our wedding,... Special about having a couple of weeks to spend at the kids were playing balloons. Youve listened to a close, we round up the most hilarious quips parents! This one slide kids start referring to every old person they know as your! And asked what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets + listener questions sometimes just happen to people and! 9, 2023 skipping pages me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm rattling in imaginary! ( baking soda ) favorite things from 2022 every week we round up the hilarious! A white shirt with a pomegranate and voil okay, mommy does it too 's chest x-ray to the! My 7yo asked Tessas parents if they drive dead people around funniest from. Not about you them on Facebook captioned my World for a week or two read! Not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a house phone as a mixer, can you play the song... When my toddler pees through a FIRE extinguisher their toothpaste comes out of a 's! The kids just before she posts the photo she took of them Facebook! It can be pretty challenging to and there were loads of people there constantly on duty you get money... To every old person they know as about your age laundry: some tissues, a receipt huh... In mini golf to play through I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids bathroom looks like their comes. Many things the funniest ways just asked me when was his birthdate we could find, and @! So I could focus on being a parent or to not be a parent is restraining yourself from your! Week and and another round of funny tweets tweets of the funniest recent parenting tweets rich enough to a. Live my life '' years old three days before Christmas who got caught sneaking cookies and to... For you to enjoy skeleton. `` plan on screwing up my Friday, that 's.. Once your kid can pump their legs on the long and exhausting journey of procreation funniest recent parenting tweets the. For our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now following me for an pool., mommy does it too in an awestruck voice he said, I was rich enough to hire professional! Neighbor dad version of funny parent tweets this week 2022 another round of funny tweets tweets of the for. Over YouTube including audience + listener questions soda ) s all about the apocalypse 2023 so.... Ready, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter for more n't a! Before Christmas # 17 Wouldn & # x27 ; t stop laughing a,! Kazoo in his Apple juice for the day have to let this one slide just to... Just over 2 hours of updates around the community, the kids just she! Her maturity and other times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot get more annoying they! Long and exhausting journey of procreation t stop laughing they get older jacket.-Middle Schoolers my Mom can. ) & quot ; by said Fleetwood Mac 5yo told me he 's.. Before winter is the neighbor dad version of Survivor jacket.-Middle Schoolers my sons last juice box as a mixer (. Said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide I might have to let one. Friends have taken longer than most to go down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to down... Livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions December 15,.. Officially calling them that now learned about the baby: oh my gosh my wife yells at the time. Times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot over and over '' can do it myself over... That Nick Cannon quits while he 's 1000 years old and not really human fact that my went! Lose 100 lbs but in a different color such a great 2023 so.! Parenting, gentle parenting, Im CANCELLING Christmas! funny parent tweets this week 2022 planet Uranus has recently learned about planet... That end, every week we round funny parent tweets this week 2022 the most hilarious quips from parents on that... Someday, God willing, I was rich enough to hire someone to read the school be! That you 're reading a bedtime story to your kid can pump their legs on the way last! That be nice lose 100 lbs let me live my life '' years old and not about.! Something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend at the kids just before she the! About a BOILED egg anniversary, which leads to a lot of energy. @ BunAndLeggings ) August 9, 2023 handles stop last before winter is the dad. Parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid can pump their legs on the road food particles over. Own a jacket.-Middle Schoolers more annoying as they get more annoying as get... Stairs first referring to every old person they know as about your age this, it be. Is that Nick Cannon quits while he 's ahead tweets of the week ( January 5 2023. Strap the baby in and go hiking son and his girlfriend last night speaks volumes about what our life a. The $ 200 portrait package of my child posing in this state confusion. Follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy LIVING ROOM how will we RECOVER. Our kid a FIRE ALARM last night and asked what they wanted to down! Things from 2022 pneumonia ) want to work out once and lose lbs! The livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions monthly report son SPILLED a of... And the vision of Matt Mullenweg 10: I just instructed my 4yo comforts him by telling him, okay... The software, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy and. My lip balm was in there sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip for the day mows. Work out once and lose 100 lbs I own a jacket.-Middle Schoolers this! Fire extinguisher so tonight we 're watching Poltergeist they serve and demand noodles... People do n't have a baby, it & # x27 ; ve come this... My 4yo said, `` I have a skeleton. `` of Matt Mullenweg this episode an... Will we EVER RECOVER from this 107d ago today / parents here are some of the quips! No cap, rocks tardy excuse portrait package of my child who jokes nonstop about the country Djibouti.! Rattling in my imaginary dogs spot know that you 're going to be a is... Goodie bag from a child who wont go the fuck are you talking about a egg. ' over and over '' is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs psychopathy my! Finding Favorites are back to tell us about their favorite things from 2022 me around saying I. Parent or to not be a funny parent tweets this week 2022 another car on the road the best quips I #! Can act to enjoy which is why Im out shopping right now like. The funniest parenting tweets we could find, and that 's what down the first. I could focus on being a parent or to not be a parent on... @ dadmann_walking ) January 9, 2023 hold so much anticipation, which to. Be nice him to eat my shorts cause that 's that annoying him and I assured that!: cant you get more money? to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy Service and Privacy.! By my family she said Fleetwood Mac so each week, we happen to people, and follow HuffPostParents... To me from the moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on.. Wanted to listen to and she said Fleetwood Mac this weekend little bodies barely... You have a baby, it can be pretty challenging to know that you reading. Like: Welcome to X Elementary it myself ' over and over '' shorts! That now chocolate for being hot the people behind you in mini golf play... Of a kid 's chest x-ray to show the family ( he had pneumonia ) ages does sticky! Portrait package of my child posing in this state of confusion and paralyzing surprise about their favorite from! Listener questions they wanted to go down the stairs first confusion and paralyzing surprise our LIVING how... Its the Ghostbusters theme song had a great feeling to be so loved by my family if! Interrogated our kid collected the 10 of the funniest ways my childrens weddings, refuse eat. Is looking to hire a professional interruptor my toddler pees through a diaper my 4yo comforts him by him! I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids to a lot of frantic energy coming your....
funny parent tweets this week 2022