This will go a long way in showing your son that youre humble and human, and itll also show him how important communication is. For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. One study detailed the importance of coping strategies for mothers of adult sons with mental illness/disability. She takes unwelcome liberties in her sons relationships. The result can be a deep feeling of inadequacy and insecurity. A son who treats his mother poorly might feel too restricted or micromanaged, or hes going through some issues. It also helps him understand that making mistakes is natural, so he wont feel as bad about his slip-ups. When a mother starts to make her son feel guilty for doing things without her. The relationship between a mother and her son can be one of the most important relationships in her life. Mothers and sons can have a very special relationship, but what happens when that loving bond turns to loathing? There is also not an exact description of the personality traits behind sons who hate their mothers. He may start to believe that he will never be good enough for his mothers approval. I have three pieces of. These fights can happen daily, and if they arent handled well, they can become the primary way mothers and sons talk during adolescence. Where Can I Send My Out Of Control Teenager |20 BEST PLACES, 35 Reasons For Marrying Your First Love (Pros & cons), Is My Boyfriend Cheating On Me | 45 Sign Hes Cheatin. But why? This was illustrated in a 2015 British study, Hidden Voices, which surveyed nearly 2,000 individuals about why they were estranged from their parents and the psychological consequences of the estrangements. However, for sons, their negative relationship with their mother more often had ripple effects to break down other relationships. Whatever the reason, its important to remember that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Only then can you hope to have a healthy, supportive relationship with your mother. If they are attracted to the opposite sex, that is, daughters like fathers, while sons like their mothers, that's positive Phallic psychosexual development, and this could help us explain why sons are closer to their mothers. As such, Ive approached this topic sincerely and am happy to share with you what Ive learned about this paradoxical issue. Related Has your son never had a girlfriend? Mothers who control their sons to an extreme degree may end up hurting how their sons will control their very own emotions in the future. Your job is to be supportive and help him grow in areas where hes struggling, but dont get involved too much in his personal life. Because in a healthy family world, all children are treated equally. Even when theyre 20+, they might still be in a teenage stage where their focus is on themselves and they have a hard time understanding the needs of others. We laugh at the comical show, Everybody Loves Raymond, about Ray Barone and his dysfunctional family, but in reality, this overbearing mother and co-dependent son is no laughing matter. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. This can lead to arguments because the son feels they are being lied to by their mother and starts believing they cannot trust her anymore. In these situations, the son may be left feeling confused and angry. The mother will constantly tell her son that: This can cause the son to feel like he is not worth anything, which leads to him disrespecting his mother and other people around him. This will also teach him how to make good choices and give him confidence in his abilities as well as his independence from you. 91 4 Looking the other way is allowing abuse to happen on your watch. A majority of moms also believed their child's mental health or addiction issues played a role. eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_12',600,'0','0']));This list is by no means exhaustive, but it provides a starting point for those who are looking to improve their relationships with their mothers. He may even begin to question why his mother is so hard on him in the first place. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1','ezslot_18',157,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1-0'); Sons need to feel that their mothers believe in them. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. This does not only foster hatred in the son but also a sense of worthlessness and insignificance for him. First, try to avoid criticism. A lot of kids and young adults will reach a point where they push back against what they perceive to be a controlling mother or parent. 3. This can be evidenced by the son constantly seeking approval from his mother or always feeling like he has to live up to her expectations. The mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by media depictions of what it means to be a man. It could result from many factors, such as unresolved childhood issues or mental illness. 6. A son will not simply begin hating his mother overnight. When a mother is constantly finding fault with her son, it creates an environment of tension and conflict. Mothers should consider speaking to their sons about whats happening and why its not OK for them to treat them this way. Trey was a major mama's boy, whose mommy came over to take care of him when he had the flu, rubbing Vicks Vapor Rub on his chest, as Charlotte stood in the doorway horrified. If you see any of these signs in your own relationship with your mother, its important to address them so that you can have a healthy and happy relationship. Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. 6. She bad-mouths her sons girlfriend or spouse. Estrangement Doesn't Just Happen to "Bad" Moms It Happened to Me Too. When a son grows up in an abusive household, their relationship with their mother is often strained. But we all make mistakes, and its how you deal with them and try to fix them that matters. Even though this is not typical of most mother-son relationships, unfortunately, it does happen at times.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4','ezslot_25',162,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4-0'); To recap, some factors or causes leading to sons hating their mothers are: Although this is a complicated issue, I hope Ive shed some light on it for you. The issue of sons who hate their mothers is complicated, but usually stems from the same set of circumstances. Its also important to talk to him about his feelings and how it makes him feel when you ask certain things of him. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1','ezslot_6',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1-0');Although this psychological study examined later-born, not first-born, boys, it did illustrate how mothers may treat their sons differently and, in turn, could lead to negative effects. Their mothers try to control them too much. When your mother treats you like a child and tries to control every aspect of your life, its a sign that shes abusing her role as a parent. A son who treats his mother poorly might feel too restricted or micromanaged, or he's going through some issues. Mothers and sons argue about schoolwork, chores, curfews, and accountability. They're also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. So as great as it is that women are encouraged to lean in and take the bull by the horns at. 5 Signs God Is Trying to Remove Someone from Your Life! Whether youre a mother, a son, or just a person with a beating heart and an internet connection, this information should make you feel less alone. The study found that participants listed mental health issues and emotional abuse as reasons for their estrangements. First and foremost, try to have a conversation with your son about why he is behaving this way. If were honest about our own mistakes, theyll be more likely to open up about their own mistakes, which will help both parties get through them easier than if they were just ignored altogether without any explanation! And even though it may be hard to draw that line, or even define that line, so to speak, we all can recognize it when we cross it, just like we can recognize it when someone else crosses it too! It is no secret that the relationship between a mother and her son is an important one. Youve probably heard the saying Mother knows best, but that doesnt mean your son always wants to hear what you have to say. This may mean talking to a therapist or counselor who can help them deal with their feelings and figure out how to best cope. This is certainly not typical of someone neglectful or abusive, and worthy of hatred. Its important to talk to them and provide guidance, but not in a way that is too forceful or overbearing. What constitutes a negative relationship with one's mother is a fairly broad set of possibilities, and some negative relationships are . Set Healthy Boundaries; Work on Communication; Own Any Mistakes You've Made; Be Patient and Don't Hold a Grudge Its tempting to get involved in every little thing that goes on in your sons life, but this is one of the worst things you can do if you want to establish healthy mother-son relationships. Tell him what he did and why it was the right thing to do. This possessive behavior can hurt a sons feelings towards his mother as well as his own psychological development. It is crucial that you give your son enough room to make mistakes and learn from them. Then, I got a call back that no . Other times, a son might act out because he wants attention from his mother. He hides his relationships from his mother. This can lead to anxiety and feeling suffocated by the relationship. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_1',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_2',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4-0_1');.medrectangle-4-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. The mother might use guilt trips or other manipulative tactics to try to get what she wants from her son, who will often feel like he has to give in because he feels guilty about not giving her what she wants. Of course, he understands that she is just trying to show him a better way forward but this becomes irritating at times. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4','ezslot_15',155,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4-0');The Attachment Theory is about how childhood attachment affects adult relationships. They may be mean people, full stop. Related Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws. Make sure you listen to what he has to say and take the time to really understand where hes coming from. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',154,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3-0'); One of the main reasons a son will hate his controlling mother is because of the guilt she constantly makes him feel. A son whose mother is constantly prying may end up being constantly angry with his interfering parent. The son may have felt abandoned by his mother or that the mother was uninterested in him. You can also get psychological or medical advice from professionals who can help you recover from this harmful behavior! Hopefully, these tips have helped you understand whats going on in your sons life, and how best to support him both as an adult and in your parent-child relationships. Another sign of an unhealthy relationship is when the son feels like he cant express himself freely to his mother. When a mother has problems or issues, she will blame her son for it even though he did nothing wrong. 1. If you must meet with your son to discuss something that he is doing wrong, try to wait until a time when he has had a chance to relax and unwind. Make sure he understands what you expect from him and that he respects those boundaries. Treating her with disrespect or contempt. If you must give criticism, do so constructively and without belittling your son. This can lead to sons taking their mothers for granted and forgetting to show them appreciation. Sons who hate their mothers are rare, but exist. If these issues are not resolved, this can cause them to lash out at their mothers and others around them. And believe me the biggest regret is having mistreated your own mother. She may also cause him to feel like shes trying to control his life. This could send him the wrong message and make him think that his actions dont hurt or affect anyone, which is not true. This can lead to many fights and arguments between the two, which will only worsen things. When a son mistreats his mother, its normal to feel hurt and confused. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. I dont purport to be the perfect mother, but I, like most moms, have tried to be as good of a mom as I know how. This way, they can mend their relationship. If they've never owned their bad behavior, then it's never going to stop. Some sons may behave poorly towards their mothers because they feel unappreciated or taken for granted. In an unhealthy mother-son relationship, the mother is overbearing and controlling. As expected, living with a person with NPD can be quite daunting, and maintaining a relationship with a son with NPD hugely challenging for mothers in particular since sons with this often view their mothers as inferior and targets for insults. Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly. A toxic mother-son relationship is characterized by a power imbalance, where the son feels helpless in his relationship with his mother. But unless he continues. He knows that she cares about him more than anyone else, so he acts out to get her attention, even if its negative attention. Listening will help you understand where hes coming from and how he feels about things. It's possible that there are underlying issues causing his poor treatment of you and if you can get to the bottom of those issues, you may be able to help him improve his behavior. It can be a source of strength and support, or it can be a source of problems and pain. Mothers always put their children first and are always there for them, even when they dont deserve it. The reasons for this are manifold, but often include a lack of understanding or empathy on the part of the son and a lack of communication between the generations.eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_7',168,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_8',168,'0','1']));.medrectangle-3-multi-168{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. If the mother disrespectfully treats her son, he will develop feelings of resentment and hatred toward his mother. Again, why do sons treat their mothers poorly? My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices). They love to control their childrens lives and often overstep boundaries by interfering in matters that do not (and should not) concern them. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_11',110,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); But there is a fine line between being protective and overbearing; between being supportive and being controlling. Usually this stems from misuse of parent-child roles; for example, if there is an absent or neglectful father, then the mother may rely on her son inappropriately for counsel and companionship. That might sound strange, but it makes sense, considering how much time mothers spend helping their sons grow up. It is possible for a man who hates his mother to still find happy relationships as an adult, but there will be a disordered component, too. Here are some reasons why this happens: When a mother is too hard on her son, he will begin to disrespect her. By learning to communicate effectively with each other, mothers and sons can build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. If you believe your mother is treating you differently because she sees you as more masculine than feminine. "There!" he says, throwing it down where his mother can see before stomping off to his room. No one deserves to be treated poorly, no matter the circumstances. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! The Mother Might Have a Relationship with Another Man The son might have a father figure in his life who isn't his biological father. We are parents of four (one with several special needs) and have been married since 1994. It may also damage his relationships with other women. The son may feel like his mom doesnt understand or care about him. Things change. They may disrespect their mothers because they divorced their father. 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sons who treat their mothers poorly